Silence

Before I could speak life, 

I needed to be silent.

Silence.

A place of solitude.

A place I was called to several year ago.

It’s wasn't about being quiet…

It was about listening.

Listening, to hear the truth. 

Listening for God’s voice above the fringe.

Listening to others.

It wasn't something I that happened overnight.

It took commitment and persistence.

It took obedience.

It took courage too.

I had to trust the instructions being given, 

I had to humble myself and put away foolish pride.

Mostly, I had to shut my mouth.

It started with a challenge 

to be in complete silence for two weeks.

No unnecessary talking, 

no opinion, 

no instruction, 

no complaining, 

no praise reports.

Only listening.

At first...

I didn't think I could do it.

I felt somewhat like a caged animal

Unable to do what I thought I was meant to do.

I felt like I was being placed in a controlled environment

 as if to strip away my identity.

The devil even tried to convince me 

this was all to glorify someone else needs, 

not necessarily for God’s need.  

“Sit down and behave and be quiet” 

were not the words I liked to hear.

I look back and realize how puffed with pride I was.

I am thankful

I had been seeking God everyday in prayer, 

It kept me from offense 

and I arose to this challenge.

Revelation

First I realized how much I talked.

It was when I was in the company of others, 

I realized how much I dominated conversation. 

I became loud and bold. 

I thought it was because of my experience,

making it easy for me to relate to anyone

 in any situation.

 My problem was…

I didn't listen.  

I heard them – I just didn't listen.

I am not proud of this in any way. 

I am thankful for those who spoke truth into my life 

and allowed me to see 

what I was doing.

I am also thankful 

that I was smart enough 

to listen and be obedient, 

instead of offended.

As each day passed, 

in solitude

I began to understand. 

I began to crave the quiet place.

I found myself running to it 

when turmoil rose up around me, 

it became a place of refuge.

I listened to God 

and heard Him.

Peace is found in the place of silence.

I realized it’s not about stifling me, 

or even shutting me down

the creativity God placed within me would not allow it.

It’s about learning to be still, 

to allow the creativity to flourish 

without the constant uproar from the turbulence 

that comes from what I like to call 

the “me-me-me” syndrome.

It also allowed me to love others, 

instead of seeking their approval.

This challenge was a great adventure!

I now enjoy finding ways to engage others 

without manipulating the conversation 

towards myself, 

letting it be about them 

their needs 

without offering solution or opinion.

This was not easy for a woman 

who has lived her life out loud.

Silence is worth seeking.

It’s something I now have in my daily walk 

and there are seasons 

I go to an even deeper place of solitude.

I crave it.

When I fast and pray, 

silence reigns during these times.

My journals overflow with conversations 

I have in the secret place with Jesus.

This is my favorite place to be!

Blessings and Shalom

Melody